What Kinda Gone Are We Talkin' 'Bout Here?

"...these days gone can mean so many things

There's gone for good and there's good and gone
And there's gone with the long before it
I wish (s)he'd been just a little more clear

Well there's gone for the day and gone for the night
And gone for the rest of your doggone life
Is it whiskey night or just a couple beers?
I mean what kind of gone are we talkin' 'bout here?"  -- Chris Cagle, "What Kinda Gone?"

In the Marine Corps, there are all kinds of "gone." In order of worst-to-best, there's gone on deployment to combat zone, gone on deployment to non-combat zone, gone for an exercise, gone for training, gone for school, or here-but-gone, meaning home but working 24/7. Some spouses like to compare "what kind of gone" because they like to play the "who has it worse" game with each other instead of just being supportive.


So..... we are quickly approaching our last year on this tiny little island paradise, and it looks like it will prove to be a challenging one. As in Tommy will be "good and gone" and "long gone."  He has been selected for a year-long deployment with the Marine Expeditionary Unit (MEU).  (Note the YEAR part of that last sentence.)  It is basically a very large boat that goes from country to country, assisting with humanitarian relief efforts (earthquakes, other natural disasters.) and executing training exercises. He will be gone for a couple of months, back for 3-4 weeks, gone for a couple of months, back for 3-4 weeks, rinse, lather, repeat... for an entire year.

It is no shock to me that Tommy will be deploying.  It is pretty much our turn.  I am acutely aware that we have been very lucky thus far not to have endured any separations longer than three months (although, can I just say, we have had a LOT of those shorter separations!).   So I was prepared for a deployment... What I was not prepared for was the "year" part of this deployment.  Most USMC deployments are 7 months, so it has taken me awhile to wrap my brain around this span of time.

No matter how you slice it, a year is a long flippin' time without the one you love.  It is hard enough to be this far from home without family, but a YEAR without my husband?!?  Think about what you were doing a year ago.  People have gotten pregnant and had their babies.  Celebrated every holiday on the calendar.  Last year at this time, Olivia was only 3 months old, and now she's a walking, talking, climbing toddler.  I know that we will be okay.  I know that.  But my best friend and the sheer joy that Tommy brings to our family will be missing, and it is going to be a tough year. 

On a positive note, I am thanking God that he will not be in a combat zone.  I will sleep better at night knowing that, for the most part, he is safe from harm - at least from the bad guys.  The fact that I do not have that added stress is truly a gift and I am grateful for that.  All the other stuff - the loneliness, the kids' nightmares, the long days, the tantrums and the tears from missing dad, we will get through all of that and will just be grateful for him to come home.  In a year.  Did I mention that part? :)