Tu-tu Cute!

Grammie (aka Cindy) sent Livy this adorable ballerina outfit in the mail.  Our little ballerina loves to dance so she set about practicing her dance moves... well, some of it was dancing...most of it looked like she was copying mom's workout routine of squats and lunges! :)

Livy's not one for costume dress-up, but she had fun with this one!  I have to admit she was pretty adorable running around the house in this.  She is, however, going through a bit of a no-clothes stage, so inevitably she stripped it off after awhile. 

...But not before we caught our little butterball rummaging through the fridge!  All that dancing sure must have worked up an appetite!

Staying Home - Two Years Later

A couple of weeks ago I was waiting in line to get into the Sesame Street show with the kids and lapsed into one of my favorite pasttimes: people watching.  Everywhere I looked, there were moms and their kids, and this is what I saw: moms looking bored. Moms looking at their Iphones (while their kids ran in circles).  Moms doling out fruit snacks and juice boxes.  Frazzled moms, exhausted moms, and frustrated moms.  I had one of those moments where I looked around at all the other moms toting diaper bags, strollers, and sippy cups while balancing a baby on the hip and thought: "This is crazy. This is what my life has become!"  Why didn't any of the moms look happy?

I try to be a mom who has fun with her kids - I try to focus on experiences, on teachable moments, on things that matter.  I don't get mad when juice gets spilled on the carpet or peas end up all over the floor.  It's okay with me that Oobleck makes a mess all over my kitchen and that paint gets on the kids' clothes.  It all cleans up...it is all okay.

Last February, my mom was visitng and I took her to play Bunco with my Bunco group.  My friend showed up to Bunco sporting a big pink streak in her blondish hair.  Her husband was a little more than halfway through his one-year deployment to Iraq, and she was busy raising her three boys while he was gone.  She told me, "I just needed to remind myself of who I am.  I am so caught up in the boys...I don't even know who I am anymore!"

I didn't get it at the time.  But I totally get it now.  I really do.

It is so easy to get caught up in the mundane - changing diapers, cleaning crayon off the wall, breaking up the kids' all-too-frequent fights.  It's easy to forget the fun in all of it.

This morning Olivia woke me up at 5:30 a.m. yelling, "Mommeeeeeee! Mommeeeee!" Wyatt followed shortly after that.  They were both cranky and the fighting began early today.  To stop the fighting I asked Wyatt to help me make the pancakes to keep him busy.  He said, "I want pumpkin pancakes!"

He has loved Pumpkin pancakes ever since the recipe came in his High Five magazine last month.  (THANKS SO MUCH, Mom). So now everytime I make pancakes they must be pumpkin pancakes. 

Let me be clear: Pumpkin pancakes are a PAIN IN THE BUTT. The batter gets too thick and it sticks to my pan and it won't come off, and then it burns. And then it smokes, and then my smoke alarm goes off.  Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating...a little.

But I did NOT want to make pumpkin pancakes.

But as my husband quickly pointed out, "It's not about you."

Totally right, he was.  It's not about me - but sometimes I want it to be.  And I suspect other moms would like that, too.

I've never been much of a giver. It's hard for me to be selfless.  But two years later, I'm getting much better at it. It was pumpkin pancakes all around.

The Dog Days of Summer

It's the end of August, and the dog days of summer are in full effect here in Okinawa and we won't feel any sort of relief until at least mid-October.... I think I might go crazy by then!!  It is HARD keeping the kiddos busy inside when it is too hot/humid (and dangerous) to take them outside!  The pools are closed now and the beach water feels like bath water. :) Although - I am very much aware that the benefit is the 7-8 months of beautiful weather we have and I am thankful for that!


Anyway, I digress again.  As I was reviewing my pictures from August I noticed that 90% of the pictures were taken INSIDE!  I have gotten very creative keeping the little ones busy.  During the typhoon, when we were stuck inside for 3 days straight, we played tons and tons of board games, and when those ran out I made up a photo scavenger hunt for Wyatt.  I made a list of clipart pictures on a Word document and had him go on a treasure hunt around the house to photograph them.  He loves taking pics with my camera so it kept him busy for about 30 minutes!  And the pictures were very funny :) Here is the picture he took of one of the cats (who was trying to run away!)


Legos, dancing, board games, and games of all kind are a part of every day around here - which is fine with me, I LOVE board games!  Here's a pic of the kids playing the Elephant game, which is a favorite of theirs.

A few days ago I made up a menu with pictures on it of main dishes, side dishes, and drinks and we played restaurant.  In the morning, I pretend ordered from the menu and Wyatt and Olivia made me the meals in their toy kitchen.  For lunch, I let the kids choose their own food off the menu and I made "for real" food for them to eat.  It was fun!  Let me know if you want a copy of the menu and I'll email it to you!


Of course there have been lots of arts and crafts... here are my and Wyatt's creations!  Olivia made one too, and as she was using the glitter tube she went and got her baby. 

I thought she wanted to decorate it, but Wyatt soon said, "Aww, look mom, she's feeding her baby!!"  The glitter tube looked like a bottle, and she was so cute!   You can see it in the background up there.



Cooking and baking has taken up a lot of our time as the kids love to help!  We made sugar cookies this weekend at Wyatt's request and this is Olivia putting the frosting on hers. Mmmm!

Wyatt loves Moon Sand.  I let him get it out ONLY when Livy is napping though.  It gets everywhere and makes a huge mess, but I don't care because he is a great helper cleaning up with his own little vacuum!



















Speaking of vacuums, I killed almost an hour by letting Wyatt play with the attachments to our Dyson.  All I had to do was tell him what area to vacuum and give him a different attachment and he was happy as punch!  He vacummed the whole down stairs and did a pretty good job too!  This is him doing the couch cushions!

Yesterday I took the kids to the Zoo and they have an amazing children's museum there that I have blogged about before.  We have an annual pass and the kids love it.  We spent almost 3 hours at the museum (inside, air conditioned) and one hour outside looking at the animals before we almost literally passed out from the heat.  The kids had so much fun with the Japanese kiddos!

This past week I broke out the masking tape and helped Wyatt make roads and parking lots with the tape on our carpet.  We then built houses and buildings out of the Lincoln Logs, blocks, and Trio blocks and, finally, gave each and every Hot Wheels car and bigger car/truck/what have you a home or a road to drive on.  That took up the better part of a day!  I am sad I didn't get any pictures of it, though.  I will be sure to during the sequel... the sequel being masking tape outlines of our bodies!

We've only got about a week and a half left until Preschool starts on MWF mornings, but what ideas do you have to help us beat the heat? I would love any and all ideas/comments!

WAHM!

The other day I was in the kitchen helping Wyatt make his breakfast, making my latte, washing dishes, changing out the laundry, doing the recylcing, garbage, etc, and Wyatt said to me, "You work really hard, mom."

I was floored. I had to ask him to repeat it twice to make sure I'd heard him right.  So cute!

And that's when I thought, you know what? I do work hard. My husband works between 11 and 14 hours a day, including weekends much of the time. Which means I work just as much, because I have no one to help me.  I'd die to have my husband work an 8-5 job. How much easier would that be in comparison???

So.  I've decided I'm no longer a "stay at home" mom.  I'm a "work at home" mom.  This is different than working from home, of course, but nonetheless - I still feel the title is accurate.

Besides, saying WAHM is just much cooler than saying SAHM. :)

At Peace

I applied for a job about a month ago. It's a great job, something I know a little about but would allow me to gain new skills that are easily transferable back to the university setting once we're through with our tour here, and would pay enough to pocket some extra money even after daycare.  A friend with the inside track helped me with the application process (it's a federal job) and put in a good word for me, and even went with me to watch the kids in the car while I turned in my application.

Even before I turned in the application I started feeling guilty about even thinking about putting the kids in child care and taking a job.  About two minutes after I applied, I felt really guilty.  And two days later it occurred to me that they might actually hire me. Pretty soon, I was hoping they wouldn't even call me for an interview.

Well, I got my wish. Although I was rated as qualified by HR, they hired an internal candidate without interviewing other applicants... and I was actually happy about it!  The thought of missing out on milestones, beach days, and stuff like swimming lessons with the kids made me sad. It was then that I realized that I actually wanted to stay home with the kids.  And suddenly I had a whole new perspective on not working. It was like the lightbulb just went on somehow, and suddenly I was at peace with life here in Okinawa.

While I think there are other factors in play here that have contributed to me finally getting in the groove, apparently the answer has been staring me in the face this whole time.  I guess sometimes it takes the prospect of losing what you've got to appreciate it.  Hmm. Like I didn't know that already.

"Just" Staying Home...

So as most of you know, this business of staying home with the kids has been a struggle for me. I blogged about this decision a while back on here, and it's on my mind constantly - should I stay home and enjoy the kids and the island while I have the chance? Or go back to work after I have the baby?

I apologize in advance if I offend someone by this entry - I certainly don't mean to... but it's an honest reflection of what I'm feeling right now. This issue is about me and me only... and not how I feel about others.

A couple weeks ago I was at the doctor's office for my 6-week post partum checkup. The doctor was young, probably right out of med school, and she seemed a bit nervous, albeit very nice and competent. She was asking me a series of standard questions, and then she asked me the one question I absolutely hate - Occupation.

"Are you just staying home?" She asked.

"Uh... yes...for right now..." was my answer.

I have been thinking about this exchange for the past two weeks. Why was there the "just" in her question? What does that mean? Why was it assumed that I was a stay at home mom? Do I somehow "look" like a SAHM (whatever one looks like as a SAHM)? And staying home is HARD! What did she mean "Just" staying home?

And my answer... why do I have such a hard time with this question? Why can't I just say "Yes" and say it as if I actually thought that was an ok thing to do with my life? I actually wanted to tell this woman - who was obviously quite educated as a doctor - "Yes, for right now, BUT I do have a career and a graduate degree!" Which obviously would have been inappropriate.

The ugly truth is that I'm not proud of being a stay at home mom. I just hate the "stereotype" of moms who stay home. As if there are no other options available to us, and therefore we must stay home. I think it bothers me so much because I assume - perhaps wrongly - that others assume that I have no education, no work experience, no life experience. And I hate that.

Honestly and truly, I admire other women who choose to stay home with their kids. It takes a lot to put your own career on hold and be content giving the best of yourself to your kids, who are so small they don't always show you the appreciation you deserve. I wish I were more giving. I wish I didn't selfishly crave time to myself. I wish I were content giving my all to my beautiful babies. But for some reason... I'm not. I'm happy, yes... but content? Not completely. I miss the "professional" me.

For right now, living in Okinawa with limited access to my career path and two small children who would need to be in full-time child care, me staying home is the best option for our family. And don't get me wrong - I love my life. I am absolutely blessed to have my amazing husband and kids, and I absolytely enjoy having time with them to explore the island and experience this adventure without the stress of work. But I am admittedly out of my comfort zone, which may be the best thing for me while making me a better person for it.

My Achilles Heal

The transition to Okinawa - culturally and personally, at least - has been the smoothest for me of all our moves by far, which was a welcome change and huge relief.  I honestly hadn't even prepared myself for the difficult of finding and making friends on an island a mere 8,000 miles from home because I had too many other things to worry about. Luckily, I didn't waste my energy on that because that part has worked out much better than I could have imagined!

The one thing I am really struggling with, however, has always been my achilles heal.  It is the same thing I struggled with while preparing for our move to Quantico.  To work, or stay home with the kid(dos)- the eternal question.  In talking with so many of you, I realize I'm not the only one who struggles with this, though there are certainly those who have their opinion one way or the other. 

Staying home sounds fantastic to me, in theory.  Who wouldn't want to spend this precious time with their little ones while they are... little?  No stress of everyday work to report to, bosses to impress, deadlines to meet, or daycare issues to juggle.

Except that all of that stress is stuff I kind of like. I like feeling part of a team and accomplishing things at work. I love having my own projects to work on and, up until now, helping students transition to college in some way.  And I really like having my own spending money and "contributing" to the household in financial ways.

Don't get me wrong... I love Wyatt.  He is such a joy.  And I'll love this new little bugger in my belly that's currently driving me crazy. But some days, I'd honestly rather deal with the poop at work than the poop in the potty. 

It's just that I get bored so easily.  Not phsyically, because I love the amazing balance I feel right now with getting things done for our family and spending time with Wyatt without being exhausted all the time.  There's always places to go, new things to do or explore, playdates to be had, recipes to try, and errands to run.  But mentally, I miss the challenge and intellectualness of my professional work, and I don't know how to get that back without giving up what I like about staying home.

There are options, I think, for curing this - some of which I'm going to try.  I'm going to contact the Animal Rescue League here and start volunteering there, and there is a freelance editing position I'm thinking of applying for to use my professional skills.  So I'm going to try and stimulate this intellectual-ness of mine and see how it goes.  In the meantime, though, advice is always free for the taking, so share some if you got some.