Staying Home - Two Years Later

A couple of weeks ago I was waiting in line to get into the Sesame Street show with the kids and lapsed into one of my favorite pasttimes: people watching.  Everywhere I looked, there were moms and their kids, and this is what I saw: moms looking bored. Moms looking at their Iphones (while their kids ran in circles).  Moms doling out fruit snacks and juice boxes.  Frazzled moms, exhausted moms, and frustrated moms.  I had one of those moments where I looked around at all the other moms toting diaper bags, strollers, and sippy cups while balancing a baby on the hip and thought: "This is crazy. This is what my life has become!"  Why didn't any of the moms look happy?

I try to be a mom who has fun with her kids - I try to focus on experiences, on teachable moments, on things that matter.  I don't get mad when juice gets spilled on the carpet or peas end up all over the floor.  It's okay with me that Oobleck makes a mess all over my kitchen and that paint gets on the kids' clothes.  It all cleans up...it is all okay.

Last February, my mom was visitng and I took her to play Bunco with my Bunco group.  My friend showed up to Bunco sporting a big pink streak in her blondish hair.  Her husband was a little more than halfway through his one-year deployment to Iraq, and she was busy raising her three boys while he was gone.  She told me, "I just needed to remind myself of who I am.  I am so caught up in the boys...I don't even know who I am anymore!"

I didn't get it at the time.  But I totally get it now.  I really do.

It is so easy to get caught up in the mundane - changing diapers, cleaning crayon off the wall, breaking up the kids' all-too-frequent fights.  It's easy to forget the fun in all of it.

This morning Olivia woke me up at 5:30 a.m. yelling, "Mommeeeeeee! Mommeeeee!" Wyatt followed shortly after that.  They were both cranky and the fighting began early today.  To stop the fighting I asked Wyatt to help me make the pancakes to keep him busy.  He said, "I want pumpkin pancakes!"

He has loved Pumpkin pancakes ever since the recipe came in his High Five magazine last month.  (THANKS SO MUCH, Mom). So now everytime I make pancakes they must be pumpkin pancakes. 

Let me be clear: Pumpkin pancakes are a PAIN IN THE BUTT. The batter gets too thick and it sticks to my pan and it won't come off, and then it burns. And then it smokes, and then my smoke alarm goes off.  Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating...a little.

But I did NOT want to make pumpkin pancakes.

But as my husband quickly pointed out, "It's not about you."

Totally right, he was.  It's not about me - but sometimes I want it to be.  And I suspect other moms would like that, too.

I've never been much of a giver. It's hard for me to be selfless.  But two years later, I'm getting much better at it. It was pumpkin pancakes all around.