The Parent Trap

When Tommy and I were considering having a child, I knew that I needed to be prepared to be a single parent. Given the military lifestyle, I knew that separations – whether they were for training, deployments, or God-forbid, death – would be a given. I knew that I had to be prepared at times to be both Mom and Dad, to be everyone and everything to that child. I just didn’t know how hard it would be to do that. I don’t think you ever really can know how hard it is until you actually have a kid.

With Tommy being in California from mid-June to mid-September, I have self-proclaimed myself a (temporary) Single Parent. Admittedly, I do not have many of the daily stress and worries that most single parents have: we have a dual income and financial security, and this is not a long-term situation. Still, it is stressful to be solely responsible for Wyatt while working full-time and preparing for a move half-way across the world!

Overall, Wyatt and I are doing really well. We’ve found our groove and have our own little routine. But what I’ve found is the hardest to handle are the little moments - the moments where Wyatt wakes up at 3 a.m. asking about Daddy and I don’t know what to say. Or the moments where everything has built up and I just need a break, just 5 minutes to get it together, but there’s no one here to give me that break. The moment where I’m supposed to be at work, my kid needs to go to the doctor, my car needs repaired, and my cat just ran out the back door into the street and I would just like a little freakin’ help with it all!

Still, I am proud of myself for keeping it all together. My house might not be the cleanest, and I might have forgotten to stop by the housing office and pick up our extra keys. But my kid laughed hysterically at me last night when I pretended to eat the bubbles in the bathtub. He had a blast running the blender, helping me “cook ice cream shakies,” at his request. And sure, he might think that Daddy works inside the computer since he only sees him on the video camera, but at least he knows he’s still there. And he’ll be back someday, in the flesh.

It’s hard to listen to others when they tell me that their spouse will be gone for the whole weekend, leaving them with the kid(s). I tend to roll my eyes at that. At the same time, there are others out there in permanent single-parent situations who’ve got it much worse than me, so I try to count my blessings. I give mad props to single parents who do this every day with no end in sight, while I sit here and cross the days off the calendar. So, to the true single parents out there, my hat is off to you for keeping it all together long-term.