Leaving a Legacy

My father-in-law passed away last week after a long, hard-fought battle with Leukemia. An ugly, horrible disease that he likely obtained while coming into contact with various chemicals in Desert Storm. A disease I would not wish on my worst enemy.

The things he did in life were important. He was a Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps and retired after 30 years. He served as a Henrico County Policeman for more than 34. And he had three beautiful children and a wonderful family. Yet this is not his legacy. His legacy is what he taught others, how he made them feel, and what he contributed to our Nation.

His colleagues from the police department stood watch 24/7 outside his hospital room during his final week on this Earth, and felt it was their duty to do so. They would not leave, even when asked or told to. When the time came, they escorted him from the hospital to the funeral home and every step in between, without leaving his side.

A simple obituary would not do; a reporter wrote a story in the Richmond Times on his life. The doctors and nurses cried with us, somehow having broken the cardinal rule of not becoming “emotionally involved” with their patients.

A stream of Marines paid their respects to us at the visitation, each telling us in their own way how the Sergeant Major had saved their life – both literally, in the War, and figuratively, having set them on a better path in life or turned their life around. My husband listened to one woman relay her story of how Tom had saved her husband and their marriage.

Friends and co-workers talked at length about his “booming” voice, his bear hugs, his gentle yet sometimes forceful guidance. They spoke of his love for Country, the importance he placed on respecting the Uniform, and how he commanded – and absolutely deserved – your respect. How he would do anything for anyone, and how he was the one you wanted to have your back more than anyone else in the world.

His Memorial Service was amazing and humbling. The bridges and interstate on-ramps en route to the service were closed by police and firefighters, saluting the procession as we drove. A formal flag ceremony, a 21-gun salute, a fly-over complete with aerial photos, letters from Congressmen, bagpipes playing Amazing Grace and a Marine playing Taps on the trumpet. They pulled out all the stops and honored him how he deserved to be honored.

However, for all the pomp and circumstance that surrounded the celebration of his life, the ironic and most amazing part of it all is that my father-in-law led his life in a fashion that was anything but. It was a touching tribute to his life and the legacy he left, a true testament to the person he was. A person who dedicated his life to Service. A person we are all better off for having known.

What will your legacy be?