Celebrating 40 Years

Today is my parent's 40th wedding anniversary.  40 years is a long time.  Being only 6 years into my own marriage, I can't imagine doing that nearly 7 times over - but I hope I get the chance to.

I learned a lot about marriage by watching my family.  My dad's parents had been married for nearly 69 years before my grandfather passed away and my mom's parents will celebrate their big milestone in June! Of course, the best example I had was watching my own parents, who taught me a lot just through their actions.  It wasn't anything that was said or done, but what I observed over the course of the years that taught me the most.

My parents rarely fought, at least not in front of my brother and I. In fact, I can only really remember one time of knowing they were fighting.  I think I was somewhere around 8 or 9 years old.  In fact, it was so rare to see that I remember thinking, "Does this mean they are going to get a divorce????" Of course they weren't, but I just wasn't used to seeing them argue!
They say women choose their partner based on what you see in your own father. I would say that to an extent that is mostly true in my case. Tommy generally refuses to fight with me, and most often I see my dad turn the other cheek as well. That doesn't mean there's no further communication about the issue - just that the men in my life many times refuse to indulge the women in their fury :)

What I do remember seeing quite frequently around the house is my dad "goosing" my mom in the butt.  I don't know why I remember this, but it's something I saw often and to me is a sign of affection and playfulness - something I hope that Tommy and I can continue to have in our marriage despite the stress of work and having two small children.  Again, I think I chose wisely, because Tommy is definitely the more playful one of us. He absolutely keeps me smiling, day in and day out.
 
If there were ever problems on the home front, we as kids most times never knew about them.  I'm sure there were, as every marriage has its ups and downs.  But what I take away from this example is that your kids should be protected from those ups and downs as a means of providing stability in your family.  I always, without a doubt, felt that our home was a safe space and that while we may drive each other crazy once in awhile, ultimately we were in it together as a family, and always felt loved and secure.
 
These and many other lessons are things I have come to appreciate by watching the amazing example my parents set for us growing up.  I am thankful every day for these lessons, because they have served as the basis for my own wonderful marriage.
 
Happy Anniversary, mom & dad!  Here's to another 40 years together!!  I love you.