They're Heeeerrre....

I do believe the Terrible Two’s are upon us. I say Two with a capital T, because I believe it is worthy of the capitalization. For the patience Two requires. For the deep breaths I must take so as not to appear as an unfit parent in public [or otherwise]. For the utter inability my child has to express his needs and therefore acts out. For all these things, and as a sign up respect for all that it is to be Two, I will herein refer to two as Two.

Apparently Wyatt doesn’t realize, however, that he hasn’t actually earned the title of Two yet by virtue of still being three weeks shy of his second birthday. No matter. He has fully embraced what it is to be Two.

Example: I picked him up at daycare on Wednesday and he was sitting eating a cracker. He finished it, asked for more, and his teacher obliged. But then he decided he wanted to go home, and excused himself from the table with cracker in hand… a big “no, no” in daycare land for fear of choking (or something, I don’t know why…). So I asked him if he was finished. He replied, “NO!” I asked him to please sit down to finish eating. He replied, “NO!” I informed him that I would need to take the cracker unless he sat in the chair to eat it. At which point he threw himself to the ground and produced tears on command. It was truly amazing. Fifteen unfortunate minutes later we walked out of the daycare… me thoroughly embarrassed at having this tantrum occur in front of multiple parents and teachers.

And the fun continued. We reached the house (a mere ¼ of a mile away, mind you) and I unbuckled him from the car seat and plop him on the ground. Immediate crying. Check that. Sobbing. Sobbing more accurately reflects what happened. In between bouts of “MOVIE! MOUSE! MOVIE!” [He wanted to watch Stewart Little on DVD in the car]. Unwilling to play the game, I sat on the step and told him we could go inside to watch the movie once he calmed down. “NO! MOVIE! MOUSE!” Another 10 minutes elapses, during which time two neighbors step outside to ask is everything alright?

I could go on. But I think you get the point. So my question is, how long does Two last? I’m sure every child is different. But I’m hoping if everyone gives me their experience (in months, preferably), I can get a reasonable range of what to expect and when some sanity might return to the Parker household again, and when I might be able to stop factoring in an additional 30 minutes for every transition point in the day.

Much obliged!