Time for a Funny.

So as previously mentioned, I need to get the girls their second rabies vaccination. And by “girls,” I mean my cats, Tenga and Peaches.

It would be helpful if I could get an appointment to do so. So I call the veterinarian a couple weeks ago, just days after receiving word of our relocation to Japan. It is the middle of the day, and I received a voice mail that, while I may have improvised wording in some areas based on my recollection of the event, sounded much like this:

“You have reached XXXX. Our hours of operation are Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. – Noon and 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. We do not answer the phone on Tuesday or Friday, as we are busy seeing patients. We are closed the last business day of every month, and will be closed April 23 and 27. This office is subject to closure without notice. Please do not leave a message unless you are cancelling an appointment, as we will not have time to get back to you. Thank you and have a nice day.”

So here’s my question after listening to all this: Given this information, when exactly am I supposed to call you to make an appointment for my cats???

Seriously?

Yes, seriously. I had to call back several times just to make sure I heard correctly. And I did.

So I made sure to call between the designated hours on the designated days. For almost two weeks I did this, with no results. Machine every time.

And then one day, I broke the rules. I called outside of the designated time. 7:30 a.m. to be exact. GASP!

And guess who picked up the phone?

Well, I don’t know who. But someone did. And that’s the point.

I was so surprised I dropped the phone! And then I got all excited because after 20-some odd phone calls to this place, I finally had a real, live person on the phone! I started babbling about how we were moving to Japan and needed vaccinations and paperwork signed and this and that. And then she interrupted me.

“Ma’am?” she said.

“Yes?” I asked.

“Our appointments for April are full. You’ll have to call back next week to get an appointment. We should have the May calendar ready then.”

[INSERT VERY LONG PAUSE HERE.]

“You mean you don’t book appointments more than a couple weeks out??”

“No, ma’am, I’m sorry. We should have the May calendar by next Wednesday or Thursday.”

[Insert inner monologue here: Are you freaking kidding me? For the love of all things holy! You know they make calendars well over a year in advance, right? I would be happy to furnish one for you. I mean, next Wednesday is April 22nd. Which is only one week PRIOR to the first day of May.]

Instead, I say, “When would you recommend I call back so that I have the best opportunity to speak to someone regarding this?”

Her answer?

“In the morning. We get busy after that.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhhhhh! I didn’t realize that if one was merely busy that one didn’t need to answer the telephone! Now I understand!

My plan: I will call Wednesday morning. I will call repeatedly until someone becomes annoyed and picks up the phone. And if that doesn’t work, I’ll show up at the doorstep Thursday morning at 7:30 a.m. before attending my Overseas PCS workshop, and bring you a freakin’ calendar in hand, with my appointment time already booked and highlighted for your convenience.

That'll teach 'em.

Okay, I’m done now. End of rant. Letting it go..........