Lost in Transition

Somehow, without really knowing how or when it happened, I have transitioned to living in Virginia. I'm a Virginian. Again.

Somehow I managed to move across the country and set up shop. I got a job. A new daycare. I figured out which Starbucks was the cheapest, which was the nicest, and which baristas will remember me and my drink. I hardly ever get lost anymore. And I made new friends. I got a new life.

And of course now that we are settled, we are getting ready to leave again. Yet another transition for the Parker family. And again, I'm feeling all the same emotions: excitement and anxiety for our new tropical destination, frustration at leading the life of a military spouse, and sadness for leaving our new home, family and friends.

Of course I knew what I signed up for when I married Tommy. But you can't choose who you fall in love with. I suppose one could theoretically choose not to be with that person, but to me that didn't seem like an option. We belong together. So I don't feel so much like I even had a choice about this lifestyle, this great adventure of life we are on together.

There's something kind of crazy about loving someone so much that you will pick up every year (or three) and leave your entire life behind. When Tommy got home that night after we found out we'd be moving to Japan, I just looked at him and thought, "How cool is it that we are willing to go on this adventure together?" And not just to Japan. For our whole life. This series of twists and turns they call the military "lifestyle."

I'm proud to be a Marine spouse. The Corps will tell you there's no job more difficult, and that it is even harder than being a Marine. I'm not so sure about that, but I wholeheartedly agree with whoever proposed that spouses should receive "chest candy" (medals, ribbons) as their Marines do. Have you ever moved (by yourself) halfway around the world? Endured a deployment (or three)? Explained to your child why dad hasn't been home for a week, a month, a year? Moved three times within a year? Given birth by yourself because your spouse was on assignment? Hell yes, we deserve a medal!

My friend Robin that lives down the street actually said to me, "I figure if he's not here for this birth, it's not such a big deal. At least he was here for the first two." My friend Holly had her daughter while her husband was deployed and was a single parent until his return several months later. Thinking back to those sleepless nights and days of screaming and insanity, I cannot even imagine. I kept thinking to myself, "I am not as strong as these people." "I could never do that."

But I've done it. I'm doing it. And yes, I will do it again in a few months.