Rules are Meant to be Broken

...or so students at Mason must think! I just realized I haven't posted much about my new job and thought I'd give ya'll a little update about life in Judicial Affairs.

Let me preface this entry by saying, I really do actually like my job. However, the reasons I like my job are related more to the people I work with and the flexibility of my schedule as opposed to the positive interactions I have with students, like my last job in orientation. In fact, I consider it a good week - and have a goal to do so - if I have at least one positive interaction with a student per week!

So basically my job is to hear non-academic allegations of violations of the Student Code of Conduct, which encompasses anything illegal and anything that violates a policy at GMU. So right now, for example, my case load includes 3-4 students who have been arrested for D.U.I.'s, several Drunk in Publics and/or alcohol possession (your body is considered a container in Virginia, so if you've consumed any alcohol you are in "possession" if you are underage...weird, I know), several students who smoked weed, and some miscellaneous. The miscellaneous are generally the most fun.

One of my miscellaneous right now is a Pee-er. As in, was walking home drunk and peed in the woods and was arrested. Believe it or not, he is my FOURTH pee-er I've had since starting this job! Apparently men have problems keeping it in their pants!

Another miscellaneous is a woman who has such a serious eating disorder that our campus health clinic is concerned her heart is going to stop. I recently set up a plan for her that included counseling and regular testing at student health, which she promptly told me was "Bullshit."

Friday I heard a case in which two roommates filed a police report that they found Heroin and drug paraphenelia in the 3rd roommate's backpack. After talking to all the parties involved, I'm about 95% sure the other two are making this up just to get the girl kicked out of their residence hall room because they want to live with someone else. !!! It certainly doesn't surprise me, but Heroin? They should have just gone with weed. I would have been more likely to believe them.

Then there's the new case I have where a woman filed a police report claiming someone stole her parking permit from her car. Turns out the "someone" is her ex-boyfriend and she actually gave him the pass. She admitted to the police she filed a false report - a felony in Virginia - and now I have to hear her case to see if she gets to still be a student! Sweet.

My favorite, however, is one reported to us from Craigslist. Some your entrepreneurial student realized that there were lots and lots of people coming to D.C. for the inauguration and was willing to "rent out" his dorm room for the inauguration at the bargain price of $400!!!

I just keep repeating... "I love my job. I love my job. I love my job!"