Another One about the Mama San

Friday started out like any other day, except that I didn't get much sleep the night before and I didn't have time to shower before I had to get out the door at 8 a.m. Which should have been my first clue about what type of day lie ahead.

Let me be clear: I can count on one hand the number of times I've left the house without showering in the last 5 years.  Without a shower, I just feel plan GROSS.  Like I haven't really woken up yet.  And I feel all... balmy.  Sticky. Unclean. Whatever. I have to shower.  It's not negotiable.  This is why I can't go camping; there are no (clean) showers.

So my mama san arrives bright and early at 8 a.m. It is that time of year again (ALREADY) to get her base pass renewed. Yippee skippy!! Lucky me!  I am exhausted but have successfully fed and clothed both children and we are ready to go.  But first, it takes me about 20 minutes just to get mama san to fill out her portion of the paperwork.  Simple questions like "Where were you born?" turned into a mime game of charades that could have won me an Emmy.  Only about 25% confident that the paperwork was filled out correctly, we left the house and headed for Office #1.*

(*Author's Note: I am going to refer to things by Office numbers on the off chance that it might prevent myself or my husband from getting yelled at.)

I load up the kids and we go to Office #1, where we trudge up to the 3rd floor.  I present the paperwork and fix approximately one-half of the items that mama san and I incorrectly identified during our game of charades.  Thank goodness for bilingual office staff.  However, said office staff then presents me with more paperwork that they forgot to give me the first time around, and informs me I need to go to Office #2 to actually print off another form that absolutely MUST be typed, no exceptions, despite the fact that it is in reference to a Contractor form, which I am definitely NOT a contractor, and of course it would be misappropriation of funds to actually print it in THEIR office... so off we go to Office #2.

I go down 3 floors, load the kids and mama san up and I drive across base and successfully print off said document at Office #2.

Then I drive Wyatt to preschool because it is already past 9 a.m.

Then I drive back to Office #1 with infant daughter and elderly mama san, and again climb 3 flights of stairs only to be told that I need a "Stamp" at a 3rd Office which is up over yonder on the hill.  Fine.  We trudge down to 1st floor (I am sweating by this time) and I am starting to get frustrated.  Is it really necessary that something so simple be so complicated??? With every stair I get more and more agitated until I am borderline fuming when I strap my daughter into her carseat and pray that she doesn't fall asleep because it is now her nap time.

I put the keys in the ignition and turn the key to start the car... and nothing.  Ummm.... for the love of Pete. What the heck is going on? I try again. Nothing.  Confused, and refusing to take no for an answer, I try no fewer than 6 more times to start the car because this cannot be happening.  I am in the middle of a parking lot with my baby and my mama san and my car will not start.  The baby, I can handle.  The mama san, I cannot.

Have I mentioned that I am exhausted and haven't showered yet?

There is nothing else to do but laugh hysterically.  Mama san looks at me like I have lost my mind.

"Too cold," she says firmly.
"Huh?" I say.
"Too cold.  That is why car no start," she says, matter-of-factly.
It is 63 degrees outside, folks. I sincerely doubt that it is too cold out. This isn't Iowa. We aren't in the arctic. There are no sub-zero temperatures.

And so, I do the only thing I can do - I cheat, and call my husband, just because I can.  Because 9 times out of 10 he is typically gone when stuff like this happens, but for this one time, he is actually HERE, a mere 15 minutes away, and because although I could handle this myself, I just plain don't want to.  So he agrees to come pick me up and then I call the car dealership and have them send a tow truck.  Luckily, they can come right away.  Unluckily, they need to be escorted onto base, meaning that I would need to trapse very far away to go to the gate and meet them to sign them into base. But - I can have my husband do that, since I have already called him in the first place.  Yay!

One hour later, my car has been towed, I have received the "STAMP" from office #3, turned in the paperwork to Office #1, dropped mama san off at the bus stop, and have driven my husband back to work.  And lucky me, it is only 12:00 Noon, so I've only wasted 4 hours of my life :)

Stay tuned for Part Two next week, when I have to retrieve the (hopefully) approved paperwork from Office #1 and take it to Office #4 for yet another layer of processing!