Adventures of a SAHM

That's "Stay at Home Mom" for those of you who are wondering! Sorry for the acronym; I know Liz Kurt is thinking "Did I teach her nothing?" But, my world is all about acronyms right now living life on a military installation.

Anyway, many of you have told me you especially enjoy my stories on the blog, so here's another one for you. So I heard about this thing called Classy Kids Consignment that is a semi-annual seasonal sale here. It's baby and kids stuff. You name it, they got it. I decided to brave the waters and did not, in fact, heed the warning on the web site that although children were welcome, they might not be...convenient.

BIG mistake. First of all, that information should be reclassified to say that bringing children is dangerous. I rolled up in my little mazda a few minutes after the doors have opened and saw the line. Immediately it hit me. You know those sales where they have bridal gowns for free or cheap and everyone is pushing and shoving like mad to get a gown? Suddenly the picture was very clear to me.... this was one of those sales!!!

Panic hits me. Am I going to be able to do this? I rush around, trying to get Wyatt out of the car seat and into the umbrella stroller. That should have been my 1st clue: there are no "big" strollers allowed. Just umbrella strollers. Well, I rarely use the umbrella stroller, so it takes me like 5 minutes to get it set up, and another 5 to figure out how to strap him in there. Alas, I get it, and away we go!

I enter the sale (read: warehouse), and am handed a "Hold" slip. What? What is a Hold Slip? OH...you're new. She explains that it is for bigger items you can't carry around. I look up for the 1st time at the warehouse. Holy mother of God! I knew at once that I was outmatched by these women. There were things everywhere. Strollers, cribs, furniture, bedding, toys, racks and racks of clothing. Exersaucers, bouncers, bottles, rocking hourses, rocking chairs... and women running from section to section. Oh, dear. Where do I go first? Toys. I hate paying full price for toys. But before I can pick up something to look at, women grab it from the table. Pushing, shoving, strollering across my feet or into Wyatt.

It took me a few minutes to realize that "Excuse me" was not in these people's vocabulary. I try to move on to the clothes section but Wyatt does not want to move on. He throws a minor tantrum and like any good mom, I pluck a truck off the table and give it to him, clearly ignoring the posted "Please do not let children play with toys" sign. En route to the clothes section, I see a booster seat we need. Suddenly this other mom locks eyes with me and I see she, too, wants the booster seat! We both stroller our way over and I get to it first. Score one for the girl from Iowa! But now, I have a stroller, a truck, and a booster seat. And only two hands. Oh wait! The HOLD ticket! Thank goodness for hold tickets.

We find Wyatt's clothes size and start rooting around. Baby Gap, Gymboree, Children's Place, Tommy Hilfiger.... jackpot! After a few minutes, though, I am exhausted from competing for my place in front of his clothes size and give up. I go to pay, and that's when I see the line. By this time Wyatt has had it. He is squirming, wanting out to run free, and I am struggling to hold the things and my purse and keep him in the stroller. I am sweating, because I have on a fleece jacket, and have been running around like a mad woman. Finally we get through and pay, and everything goes in the car. I can't figure out how to collapse the stroller though, so it goes in the trunk fully assembled. I collapse into my Mazda, exhausted! Who knew?

A few days later I am looking through my purse and I find a handout they gave me at the checkout line. Sunday is Dollar Dash! Everything not already sold is just a dollar! Hmm.... my brain starts calculating. Sunday comes, and I need a break from being in the house. It has not escaped me that I haven't been anywhere alone in 3 weeks. I leave Wyatt with Tommy and decide I'm going back to the sale to do this the right way.

I arrive a few minutes early this time, sans jacket or purse. Just my money in my pocket. No stroller, no child, nothing to carry. I have properly stretched ahead of time and am ready for the mad dash. And Dash it was. I have never seen such a thing, but this time I was ready, and I scored some pretty great stuff! And I felt better about myself for having conquered the Classy Kids Consignment on its last day.... until the March sale, that is ;)